I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!

Hey. I know i havent been on for so long and it has to do with being so depressed i can not do anything. Right now i am sitting at my desk at work and my head is about to explode. it is sooo boring here and there is nothing to do so they gave me this other position but all that does is get me more frustrated with everything. my brain is going to blow. i cant take it. plus i realized i want to move far far away because i dont have a family. all they do is annoy and call me name and ignore me. we went on vacation for pesach and it was so boring and horrible and i came back more overwhelmed with life. my brain is running a mile a minute and i have nothing to do. Ahhhh! i am getting frustrated with life. i need out of Ny. Wait i live in NJ. so how come i am in NY more then in NJ. I am here sooo much. I cant believe how much i am and i dont do anything fun. i just worry about life. i have so many fears. i am full of fears. Even on here i think i just talk to myself. O well at least it is all out there. i am also super hungry. there is no food here and i dont ever feel like eating even though i am starving./ i wonder where my boss is. who knows, who cares. i wish she knew how insame i am going here. i just have to make it through tomorro and make a decision what i am fdoing. i cant believe i actually know how to type kinda fast. i knoe there are prob a lot of mistakes but i think its understanable. or some how something. i want foood! FML. i just dont kno what i want anymore. i am slowly getting back to that place where i cant move anymore. i was on the couch for 2 days 2 weeks ago and last weekend i was stuck and didnt want to move. i feel like its going to keep happening. Luckly Eric is coming over tomorro and we r gonna chill on friday,. hopefully he can get me out or i can try to bring him top my leverl/. on saturday im supposed to meet my cousin. i alsio have to do to the dentist and doctor. i really need a head doctor. now after all this im getting allthese pain inside. mayb i should jsut go home. i cant take all this. i just cant.